Monday, January 25, 2010

To Ohio

I have not been good. My training regime has been a bit lackadaisical, for which I blame the wii fit, which has knackered my stomach muscles. Soreness, allied to a general propensity towards indolence, make poor bedfellows for the aspiring wrunner. I have to be honest, I have done nothing. I did spend a couple of hours in the international pool in Cardiff on Saturday, but I didn't do a fat lot while I was there, except whizz down slides, lark about in the lazy river or whatever it is called and doss in the jacuzzi. Must try harder. Much harder. Beware that chuffing wii fit, it's a killer!

David Milliband seems to have found himself in strife because he sends his nipper to a faith school, the scoundrel. I have issues with faith schools, as I may have mentioned before, but I no longer get all pissed off about them. The argument that people are only doing the best for their nippers when they lie and cheat to get their nippers into faith schools is probably fair enough, and I should feel more foolish than I do for sending my nippers to the local dustbin rather than the faith school at the end of the road.

Mind you, there seems to be a requirement that as well as possessing a faith, or, having the ability to lie about having a faith, all parents with kids at the school must own huge 4 x 4 vehicles, so we wouldn't have got them in there anyway.

I'm beginning to wonder if there is any point to these schools. Why don't we just say, there is clear inequality between schools and some schools seem to have advantages that others don't, so we are abolishing faith schools but will keep the schools themselves open, so any bugger in the catchment area can go there, while those outside the catchment area can go to their local school, and all those pushy parents can concentrate their efforts on demanding improved standards in the dustbin schools. It's not as if these schools propagate the actual faith, given most of those attending are atheist, agnostic or indifferent.

I may have been indifferent towards the FA cup at 2.59 on Saturday afternoon, but my interest had most definitely been piqued by 5.45 and once the draw was made yesterday tea time it all started to feel a bit like the old days again.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Wrun Wrevisted: Part 1.

I have not exactly covered myself in glory these last two days. Yesterday, as is ever the case, I was full of good intentions, but lacking in motivation; although I did manage a 15 mile detour on the way home to buy some Waitrose faggots. Have you tried them? By god, they are good, If I end up on death row, I want them for my last meal. The detour, by the way, was taken in a car, I didn't run it, just in case you were wondering.

Anyway, it had been a long, hard, gruelling day and I was in the mood for a run. But, dear me, it was raining! And the Mrs was going out, so I had to look after the little 'uns! There is a bit of a difference here between now and the last time…………last time I had at least gone out a couple of times before apathy set in. I was a bit disappointed in myself.

However, there is a difference between then and now, then, I didn't have wii fit, now, I do, so I got the nipper to set the thing up for me and got to work. It is rather a rude gadget, it called me obese and repeatedly accused me of being a couch potato. It informed me that I had a BMI of 33, but my wii fit age was only 32. This suggests to me that the thing is a charlatan. Nevertheless, instead of going out all wrapped up against the elements I jogged around the living room in my pants, 3 times and did some strength and aerobic exercises. I am shit hot a hula hoops but crap at press ups.

I ended up doing about 40 minutes of activity which I wouldn't otherwise have done and I ache as I type, so there may have been some value in it…………must try harder though, much harder.

People keep telling me that the more I do the easier it will get and I will start to enjoy it. I don't belive it, I see only suffering and humiliation ahead………..all the more reason to help motivate me by digging deep! Thanks very much by the way Bob, very generous.

It's not all wrunning and self sacrifice mind, there is still football and politics. George Osborne claimed more money than he was entitled to, the tory twat. He claims it was a mistake; that top education of his wasn't up to much, was it and if he can't get a simple thing like his expenses right, how can we trust the chinless twerp with the nations finances?

FA Cup day tomorrow, we are away at Everton and I am filled with complete indifference, There was  was a time when FA Cup days were the most anticipated  days of the season. No more.

It's hard to believe that Rod Liddle used to edit The Today programme. He is intent on being the baddest middle class boy in the suburbs, his contributions to Millwall message boards are laughable, his racism less so, his natural constituency will love him even more, but the fact remains, he is a cunt, and if you don't believe me, believe the man himself.

Some good news. Spotiseek. Type in the name of a band you like and it will generate a playlist of similar artists. It is very, very good.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


You may recall The Wrun two years ago. It nearly killed me, and it was only a mile. Since then I have done nothing and I am even fatter now than I was then. Charlie, star of the previous attempt to see me  off, has persuaded me to have another go, this time, though, we mean business, we are doing 3 miles. This could be a huge mistake.

Anyway, should you feel like sponsoring us, you can do it here. I shall endeavour to update our progress. I say "our" it will be no problem for Charlie, my progress, or lack of it, could be amusing  though. I have made a start this very evening. I stepped on and off a stool 120 time did thirty squat thingies and ten press ups. Didn't throw up once. Celebrated with a Kate and Sidney pie and two doughnuts. Piece of piss, this fitness lark.

Lo and behold, my accounts of the previous effort are still hanging around.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Lay All Your Love On Me

This weeks snow has left me lacking gruntle: over a weeks leave has now gone to snow so what the devil do I do when the kids need looking after at half term and Easter and on teacher training days  and if they fall ill? Never mind if I just fancy a chuffing rest. It's even more annoying as the nurses who we share an office with only need book leave if they are out for more than one day, per snowfall and people doing the same job as me in the county in which I reside were told not go in unless they could walk in, 3 days running.
Snot fair!

Moreover, I have to wield a shovel, at home and at work. This morning, because they had cleared the road, but not the car park, loads of people were caught unawares and just drove in, only to find themselves well and truly stuck. Me and a couple of colleagues came over all chivalrous and went out to help someone, only to end up helping half a dozen other chuffers, not many of whom showed much gratitude. I went to university so that I would no longer have to spend hours in the rain shovelling shit. Something has gone wrong somewhere!

Never mind all that, tomorrow the Blues play Portsmouth. This is our biggest test yet.This is the game that we would be bound to lose, normally. We, on a run, go to a club in desperate straits and screw it up. If we win this one, we will definitely know that things have changed and that, as Blues fans, we need to prepare ourselves for a very different existence; one characterised by hope and positivity. I'm not sure we will be able to handle it.

Eck of course has gone from being prize chump to the best manager the game has ever seen in 3 short months. I don't believe it, and I doubt if he does. He wasn't a chump when he was accused of that and he isn't a messiah now. He found himself on a steep learning curve when he arrived and then another one after we went down. He shown that have can learn his lessons and learn them well, but a couple of defeats and a handful of injuries and it might all start to look a bit different. The best thing about this run is that it has stopped all the shrieking from the more hysterical of our brethren. Long may it continue.

If anyone happens to come across Geoff Hoon or Pat Hewitt, give them a dirty look, the traitorous pair of bastards………….they would do well to consider what a Tory victory will mean to to the less well off (me!) before they start feeding their already over fed egos. The bastards.

Saturday, January 09, 2010