Friday, September 27, 2002

Today I bought the Polyphonic Spree. What a pile of chuffin cack.

I suppose I should apologise in advance for the number of Guardian links I will be putting up tonight, which will be excessive even by my standards.
Arundhati Roy on capitalism and war, seriously good stuff.

James Brown revisits the streets of his boyhood


The friday five:
1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
It's a good question but could take all night to answer, so I will just put the first couple of things that come into my head. Booze, obviously, although it is disinhibiting rather than relaxing, but it helps you escape from the aggravations of the day, like being either completely ignored or treated with contempt by your immediate line managers. My Mrs has the warmest, most loving arms you can imagine and there is no better place to unwind than wrapped up in them. Playing football in the garden with the nippers. Arsing about in the kitchen. Giving some gym equipment some stick. Getting stuck into a really good book, although finding one you can completely lose yourself in isn't easy. Drugs. (joke)

2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
Put the key in the door and turn it. Jesus. I almost always have some shopping, so put that away. Tidy up the breakfast stuff. Make the eldest, who I collect, his tea. Then rush out again to get him to Beavers or Karate or Football, or whatever else he is up to on that day. Cook tea, arse about with other two, collect first one, arse about some more. Kick cat. Blog.

3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells?
This will have to be general aromas. Vanilla. Bread (I make my own every day). Fresh coffee. The armpits of Mrs Buddha. The babbies head. Onions at a football ground. Tar. Sunday dinner. Glue. Grass. That ozoney thing after rain on a summers day.

4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
By myself really. Its that old Steven King thing about never having friends as good as the ones you had when you were 10. I had friends I could totally feel at ease with, but we all moved on. Now it all requires effort, even with people you know well. By myself I can do what I want, think what I want, drink what I want, blog what I want. In theory.
I am rarely alone for more than 5 chuffin minutes and even that is stressful what with wondering what little drama is going to present itself next, or what mayhem the littlest nipper is causing.

5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
The sound of a motorway at night.

Pull my finger

Bloody hell, I hope my employers don't come across this poo costings calculator, or my wages will go down the pan.

The Bluetitch 1
1: Are you coming to Brum this week?
No I am chuffin skint and football at 5.30 pm can fuck off, I wouldn't get home before ten and I want to be getting into the drink well before then on a chuffin Saturday. It's interesting to note that despite the pre season hype tickets have been available for every game so far, including Villa, and that's while we are doing ok. Once Cisse, Purse and Savage get themselves senselessly banned and we have a slump they will be offering us non season ticket holders money to make the ground look full. As I predicted at the time I will probably see more games than some season ticket holders, but still be regarded as disloyal.
She must be worn out. Poor old dear can only think of one.

I am beginning to tire of Christopher Hitchens and his warmongering cod outrage. I think in time, unless he turns completely, just like his brother, he will discover that he needs The Nation more than The Nation needs him.
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