Friday, November 01, 2002

See if you can get the sled through the ring of fire.

Joel Veitch kitten tribute to DJ Jam Master.

The Friday 5, despite the massive potential for rambling I shall desist.
1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
I was brought up a Catholic and attended Catholic schools. Church on Sunday was mandatory, or at least the leaving of the house pretending to be going to church was mandatory. Sometimes we would get caught out as the old man would ask what mass we had been to and we would say the same one he had been too, and he would point out he hadn't seen us there, then he would be in a monstrous mood.


2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?

No I don't, I never really did. I never believed in God, although I was in absolute terror of him anyway. I would never practice Catholicism I think it is a monstrously negative religion, completely based on fear. If I played up the bastard priests and teachers would tell me my mom was watching everything I did. They said God and my mom could read my thoughts, for fucks sake! So, even if I thought bad things, God and the old lady would see, if I did bad things; likewise. I heard this shit from the age of about 5, maybe earler from the priests. It is tantamount to abuse. What kind of an evil git would terrify a child like that: your dead mother is watching your every move sonny, so shape up. Christ on a bike. Given what we now now about the Catholic church, not just the abuse, Opus Dei as well, I am convinced it is evil. Except I don't believe in evil as a concept, but that is another story.

3. What do you think happens after death?
We burn, or rot. So we should make the best of the one life we have.

4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
I despise all religious rituals.

5. Do you believe people are basically good?
Like Rousseau, I believe we are born innately good and are corrupted by society. Or religion.

Steve Bell on the conservatives.

Bluetitch, the old dear, has taken herself off to try and rediscover her youth, it seems. Not to worry, Hugh Mungus has come up with an alternative Friday 5, and it's pretty good. You just wouldn't get this camaraderie and comradeship from Villa fans.
1/ Where would you like to die most :
Old, in bed, painlessly, smiling.
2/ You had to be a native of any country not in UK , where ?
Piddle of piss this one Spain.
3/ If you could uninvent anything non life threatening what would it be ?
Religion, although that is very hazardous to the lives of millions so it's a wrong answer I suppose.
4/ Best idea , you've never gone through with ?
This is a very boring answer I am afraid. When I finished my degree I had the opportunity to spend a year at the Cardiff School of Journalism, but would have had to fund myself. Or, I could have done a one year conversion course to law. My Mrs at the time would have worked to see me through either, but I declined. Instead I worked for a year then got very well funded by the home office to do a two year course qualifying in my current career. Very bad move, should have gone with the first option.
5/ Most violent thing you've ever done ?
I heve never really done anything very violent. When I got into scraps as a nipper I was more interested in self preservation than hurting the other kid. I really had no interest in inflicting pain on others, probably because I knew God and the old lady were omniscient and I would spend the hereafter atoning for my sins in chuffin purgatory. Likewise in the golden era of hooliganism, I was always one of the many running around on the periphery, not one of the few doing any actual fighting. I have had it on good authority though, that emotionally, I am a mean motherfucker.
Being a protege of Bluetitch, Mr Mungus cannot stick to five.
What is the biggest waste of money you have ever made ?
Polyphonic Spree, without a shadow of a doubt.

I needed some respite from the psychological warfare I am engaged in with my fuck faced gaffer today, so booked a day off. One nipper in school, one at Grans and the littlest darling no one would be crazy enough to look after, not for all the tea in China. So me and the Mrs and the cherub headed off, very early to Cardiff. Me and Mrs Buddha hardly see each other these days, we both work and between that and collecting the nippers from their various locations then gettin them out and back again to and from their various extra curricular activities, not to mention all the humdrum but exhausting household tasks, we have become a little estranged from one another. Today we had about 4 hours just for ourselves and the littlest one. And we found each other again, remembered why we love each other so much, not loved, love. I am lucky man, but then she is a lucky woman.

To misquote, Goodfellas my big brother, who is supposed to look after me a little bit, is being an unconscionable pain in the ass.

I lied, there is a ritual I love. Nine carols and lessons from Kings on Christmas Eve. It's not really religious though, more symbolic of religion. But it transcends bullshit , it's not the songs, its not the fact that it is the upper middle class at worship, it is an expression of joy. And that will do for me, the rest of us can contribute what we like, nobody cares. Thanks Sarah
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